When a loved one is in recovery, they are Placetochat working on their mind, body, and spiritual connection to themselves and others. Part of this experience is rebuilding family connections through amends. Making amends for harm caused is part of the 12 Steps of AA. The 12 Steps help people with a substance use disorder create lasting change in recovery and reconnect with family to help cement that change.
Ready For The Next Step?
There’s no caveat that you shouldn’t complete Step 9 if it’s going to negatively impact your own life. The goal is to do whatever it takes to make things right with the people you have harmed or pushed away. Perhaps the most challenging aspect of making amends involves accepting how the other person responds to you. They might accept your amends immediately, need time to process, express continued anger, or refuse to engage with you at all. Your responsibility lies in making sincere amends, not in controlling how others react. Create a comprehensive list of people affected by your addiction.
Preparing To Make Amends: Step 9 Essentials
You might find yourself avoiding the process, making excuses, or convincing yourself that amends aren’t really necessary in certain situations. Creating a time-bound plan helps combat procrastination. Set specific deadlines for making amends to people on your list. Share these deadlines with your sponsor to create accountability.
- We strongly recommend that our recovery program graduates seek a weekly community-based support group as part of a sustainable aftercare program.
- Breaking your list down into smaller lists can often make it feel more manageable.
- It is asking for repair, and if repair is not possible without creating new harm, a different approach is needed.
You may have a rash, hives, swelling of your face, wheezing, light-headedness when changing positions, feeling faint, or loss of consciousness. Call your healthcare provider or get emergency help right away. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins and herbal supplements.
If you have tried to recover but your addictive behavior is “sticky,” call the compassionate team at Changes Healing Center. It wasn’t as bad as he thought, and it helped him find the courage to address his more painful memories of addiction and how he’d hurt others. Making sure you mean what you say is an important aspect of apologizing. You are not a little kid that is being forced to apologize for saying something mean to someone else. It’s important to keep it straightforward and unqualified. Avoid using conditional language that can undermine your apology.
Everyday AA slogans like ‘taking it easy,’ ‘progress rather than perfection,’ and ‘live and let live’ can all be helpful reminders that apply when making amends too. Often, in our experience, when you get stuck in the amends process, it is due to getting inside your head, and imagining outcomes or otherwise succumbing to doubt. The willingness to make amends lays the groundwork for genuine attempts at reconciliation and restitution, and improved relationships with others and ourselves. Success on AA Step 9 is more about following the process with a compassionate attitude than rebuilding every relationship affected by alcohol addiction. Use the AA amends worksheet under professional guidance.